


Losers Short Fic Collection

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Gen, M/M, Tumblr fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:04:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4985809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the unimaginative title states, this is a collection of short fics.  They are mostly if not all Cougar/Jensen fics.  They range in length and rating, so refer to the specific chapter notes/summaries for any warnings that may apply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Late Night TV

**Author's Note:**

> All of these fics were originally posted to my Tumblr, and since some of them are very short, I didn't want to post a ton of separate fics (mostly because I suck at titles; see awful title above for example).
> 
> Fic 1: General Audiences, no warnings apply

Jensen and Cougar see a lot of 3AMs together.  Jake because he forgot to look at his watch and go to bed like a normal person, and Cougar because he went to bed like a normal person but woke from intense nightmares.

So, Cougar crawls out of bed in just his boxers, socks, and a t-shirt, and he wanders downstairs to watch late night tv until his heart stops pounding and his brain stops replaying horrors.  Jake glances up from his laptop as Cougar shuffles past him in all him sleep mussed glory.  He shuts down whatever he’s working on and follows Cougar downstairs a few minutes behind.  

Cougar is sprawled out on the old sofa, flipping through the channels.  Jake does a running dive over the back of the couch, and somehow Cougar always catches him cleanly before he can tumble right over Cougar and onto the floor.

3AM means  _Three’s Company_  is on and Jake steals the remote and goes right to TV Land just as the opening theme starts playing.  He sings along off key while trying to get Cougar as excited as he is.  Cougar just wraps his arms around Jake tightly, so he doesn’t bounce himself right off of Cougar’s chest. That’s happened before, though it didn’t dampen Jake’s excitement.

Jake’s enthusiasm calms Cougar, and he quietly watches the old show with Jake, who chats happily throughout.  They’ve done this so many times now that Cougar’s seen most of the episodes, and Jake’s seen them multiple times, but Jake is just as excited every night that he bounds down to lie on Cougar on the couch.  

On really bad nights, they’ll both be awake to change the channel over for early morning  _Twilight Zone_  around five.  There’s less enthusiasm then even if it’s Jake’s favorite show.  If they’re both up, it means Cougar can’t clear his head, and Jake’s too worried to settle down.  Still, by the time Clay comes down for coffee, they’ll be dozing through infomercials, still intertwined on the couch.  

Clay pretends he doesn’t see anything and just makes extra noise in the kitchen, so they wake up and returned to their room.  


	2. Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cougar get tattoos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Teen  
> Warnings: Butts

Jake has a tattoo of a paw print on his ass.

Actually, he went to a lot of painstaking trouble to ensure it was a cougar paw print and not some generic print the tattoo artist pulled off the internet. There were nature documentaries involved as well as measurements taken to ensure it was to scale. It’s located right on the meat of his left cheek and took up a good portion of it, and when he first got it he couldn’t sit for days it was so tender. Cougar had given him no pity. 

Clay and Pooch could never tell if Jake had just gotten the stupid idea to get a brand marking him as the sniper’s, or if he’d gotten drunk and thought it would go well with the assortment of other weird tats he had, or finally if Cougar actually, god forbid, had input.  

As far as the rest of them knew, Cougar had no tattoos other that the Sacred Heart he wore proudly on his chest. That had been there long before the Losers were a team, so clearly that wasn’t for Jensen.

What they didn’t know was he had a second tattoo. It was on his inner thigh, so far up that one would have to be pretty intimate with him to be able to see it. It was a two lines of text that read: 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110000 01100101 01110010 01110100 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01001010 01001010

Cougar had asked why Jake didn’t just pick a font and write out “Property of JJ” instead of choosing binary, and Jake had swatted him and told him, “You monster.  You don’t understand me at all.” 

Cougar rolled his eyes, understanding Jensen completely, but he let Jake whine because Jake enjoyed any excuse to talk.  They also both understood that having any sort of name on their skin was a danger in the field, so binary and a paw print were about as obvious as they were willing to get.

Jake got a little antsy at how close the tattoo artist was to Cougar’s balls the entire time, which wasn’t that long. The woman burst out laughing when Cougar flirted with her quite obviously just to make Jake twitch.  Jake kept pointing at the tattoo as she worked, and she only laughed more.

When it was Jake’s turn, Cougar sat right in front of Jake’s face and kissed him occasionally while Jake talked all about tattoos with the artist.  Cougar didn’t growl or grouse about her touching Jake’s butt, and they teased Jake about that as well.  When all was said and done, Cougar shook his head at how excited Jake was about the tattoos.  Secretly, he was quite fond of them as well.

Cougar had to bite his lip when Jake bared his healed ass to the team a couple weeks later and proudly proclaimed that he was property of Cougar.  When all eyes shifted to Cougar, he shrugged and made a benign comment about Jake being Jake.  

Jake never pushed for Cougar to proclaim he was Jake’s. Cougar wasn’t the type to be owned. He was the type that followed the ones he loved through Hell without ever falling behind and never needing a guide to return to their side. No one questioned Cougar’s loyalties, and as of yet, no one had ever succeeded in breaking them.  Still Jake was proud that Cougar wore a piece of Jake in ink on his skin.


	3. A Game of Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody knows WHY they're surprised that Jensen and Cougar have been locked in a game of gay chicken for two months, but everyone's pretty relieved they have the foresight not to pull that shit on base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt from [Mnemmy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mnemmy/pseuds/Mnemmy)
> 
> Rating: Teen  
> Warnings: Gay Chicken, groping

Being that the parties involved were Jensen, who had little to no common sense, and Cougar, who  _never_ lost a bet, things went from zero to quite possibly still illegal in some states and several countries about as fast as you could blink.

There had been taunting, groping, licking, pelvic maneuvers that had Clay questioning whether he was just getting old or if Cougar’s spine was made of jello. Honestly, it was fascinating (more like nauseating) to watch their mating dance, because that’s what it was.  Maybe Jake and Cougar didn’t realize that the only way this was going to end was with them having all sorts of sex, but Clay realized it—much to his brain’s dismay.

The Losers were gathered at Pooch’s house for a barbecue and while Pooch manned the grill, Clay, Roque, and Jolene were left to watch the disaster that was Jake’s idea of gay chicken.

“Twenty says Jake gets lucky tonight,” Jolene said, sipping her margarita as they all watched Jake lean in close as Cougar daintily ate the ribs that just came off the grill.  Jake licked Cougar’s cheek, leaned back just a little then moved in again, sucking at the corner of Cougar’s mouth as Cougar silently continued to chew.

“Sorry, you had a little sauce on your face,” Jake said when he pulled back, studying Cougar’s reaction.  Cougar just nodded.

“You can’t be serious,” Roque groaned.  “I would’ve stabbed him…I still might. Nah, ma’am, Cougar’s holding this out. Forty says this lasts at least another week.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Jolene smiled against the rim of her glass.

“Please god, let it just be over,” Clay muttered. 

Jake rose from the picnic table he shared with Cougar to get more food, but as he stood, Cougar’s hand shot out and cupped Jake’s crotch, in full view of the whole group.  He gave Jake a few strokes through the fabric before releasing him.

“Sauce,” he said with a shrug.

Pooch actually dropped the grill tongs.  “Sauce, my ass,” Pooch grumbled as he brought the drink pitcher over to his wife.

“Careful honey, Jensen just might lick it if he thinks there’s sauce there,” Jolene teased, but Pooch looked horrified.  There was a reason he was not a part of gay chicken.  

“Mosquito!” Jake shrieked, pretending to swat at a bug but really just making an excuse to slap Cougar’s ass as he rose to get more food as well.

All eyes returned to Jake and Cougar, just in time to seen Cougar throw Jake down onto the picnic table and climb on top of him.  All eyes widened as they watched Cougar basically dry hump Jake into the table.

“I swear to God if one of them says they thought the other was choking I’m going to barf,” Pooch said, gesturing with the pitcher to where the guys were making out.  

“How do they lose?” Jolene asked, tilting her head as Jake wrapped his legs around Cougar’s waist.

“They can’t lose,” Roque sighed. “They’re in love, and this will escalate to sex and the sex will probably escalate to even more ridiculous sex. The real question is how do we lose? We lose by witnessing it happen.”

Just as Roque finished speaking, Cougar’s belt went flying past them.

Jolene clapped her hands together.  “Have I shown you boys what I’ve done with the basement yet? The new paint job is stunning…”

They all scrambled toward the house before she could even finish.

“Let’s just hope there are no visible marks when we get called in for briefings tomorrow,” Clay groaned as they slammed the back door closed.  How did he get stuck with these idiots?


	4. Caught in the Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has unfortunately seen Cougar and Jake having sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Mature  
> Warnings: Sex, a bunch of it

Every one of the Losers has accidentally walked in on Cougar and Jake having sex. 

Clay was the first to accidentally find them mid coitus.  He went up to the room they shared to discuss something with Jake, and he just walked in without knocking like he always did. Mistake.

He found Jake folded nearly in half on the bed.  His legs were over Cougar’s shoulders, and he was gripping the frame of the bed like he might fly away if he let go.  Clay couldn’t blame him because the way Cougar was pounding into him, he just might.

Clay did an about face, and forgot everything he had to tell Jake when he drowned the image from his mind with too much scotch.

Pooch found them on a mission. It was his watch and therefore his turn to wake Jensen and make sure he didn’t slip into a coma due to the nasty concussion he’d gotten. He slipped into the room they’d designated for Jake in the safe house to find Jake spooned in Cougar’s arms while Cougar rocked into him. Pooch actually would’ve used the word gentle, which was not something he would’ve associated with either of their sex lives until he unfortunately saw it with his own eyes.

Cougar kissed Jake’s neck as he reached around and jacked Jake’s cock, and Pooch fled, convinced that Jake was clearly not in a coma if he was making such pitiful noises.

Roque found them in the bathroom. He’d been half awake and in dire need of a piss when he walked into the bathroom instead of knocking.  He froze when he found both Jake and Cougar soaking wet and naked as the day they were born.

Cougar was bracing himself against the sink, facing the mirror.  Jake was behind him, one hand buried in Cougar’s thick hair and tugging it to the side, so he could bite down on the crook of Cougar’s neck.  His other hand was gripping Cougar’s hip as he thrust into him like a madman.  

The sound of wet skin slapping and Cougar’s growled encouragement made Roque want to vomit as well as pee. He decided that the backyard was just a good a place to take a leak as the bathroom, and he shut the door and bolted.


	5. Haircare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cougar's hair is serious business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences  
> Warnings: none

Cougar has 17 bottles of hair products.  Jake knows because he counted.  He isn’t sure how a person has use for all of those products, but Cougar’s hair is kinda glorious, so Jake assumes it’s a little like alchemy.  Cougar probably mixes in just the right amount of each solution and poof magical luscious, flowy hair.

Seriously though, 17 bottles.  Jake is afraid to use any of them because half of the labels aren’t even in English. He has to keep his store brand shampoo in his own room because there isn’t any space in the bathroom for it.  He also doesn’t want it to feel inadequate around the snooty, fancy hair soaps.

It’s a damn hazard is what it is because Jake always knocks one or two off the edge of the tub then he trips on it or bumps his head as he reaches down for it. 

Cougar’s hair is really nice though, and he almost purrs when Jake buries his fingers in it. So, Jake does his best to ignore the fact that if the hair product bottles magically become sentient and revolt, they don’t stand a chance.


	6. Mission Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake just wants some cuddles in the field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: General Audiences  
> Warnings: Smelly Soldiers

Jake pressed his face to Cougar’s neck. They both smelled awful. They’d been on mission for over a month, and there simply was no way to get all of the grime off with the facilities they were using—which was usually an equally grimy body of water. 

Cougar didn’t push him away. They were rarely affectionate on missions. They’d tease each other or rough house, but tender moments were few and far between.

So, Jake was a little surprised to get the cuddle pass. Jake crowded his whole body closer when Cougar didn’t immediately push him away. 

“Are you actually a zombie that’s just waiting to eat my brains?” Jake asked, trying not to take in the pungent combination of both of their stink.  

Cougar didn’t respond, but that was pretty much par for the course when it came to Jake’s outbursts. Jake just cuddled in more, enjoying their moment together. That was broken by Roque’s voice.

“Cougar, why is Jensen humping your gear?” Roque asked.

Jake’s eyes shot open to realize that Cougar was long gone, and Jake was cuddled up against Cougar’s pack and rifle case. Jake pushed himself up and looked around for Cougar. He was seated just a few feet away drinking what they told themselves was coffee beside Roque and Clay.

“Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t you?” Jake asked accusingly.

Cougar shrugged as the others laughed. Jake was a little hurt that they’d watched him think he was having a moment when he was in fact getting frisky with some equipment, which really wasn’t all that uncommon but usually more intentional.

Cougar put down his cup and walked over to Jake who was still on all fours. He seated himself in front of Jake and pulled him into his lap. Jake went with it, essentially knocking both of them over.

Clay and Roque groaned, but they didn’t stop Cougar from holding Jake to his chest, so Jake could press his face to the crook of real Cougar’s neck. 

“You looked so content. I did not wish to disturb you,” Cougar told him, holding him tightly. 

Jake knew this wouldn’t last long. The fact that Cougar did this at all was way more than he ever did when they weren’t in private. So, Jake held him just as tightly and took a deep breath of Cougar’s stench because even that was worth it.


	7. The Great Sleeve Disappearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know there an otp prompt out there where Person A cuts all the sleeves off their shirts because Person B is 80% of their impulse control but is off on a cruise just then. For Cougar and Jensen you would think it's obvious who A and B would be, but if you take a look Cougar is the one who wears the most sleeveless shirts.
> 
> Requested by Mnemmy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated G  
> No Warnings  
> except for ruined (or improved) shirts

According to Clay’s official report, they were attacked by a pack of rabid jungle squirrels looking for nesting materials. Cougar’s shirt sleeves were sacrificed in a bid to save them all. No one actually knows why there was an official report made, but they assumed that someone on base took offense to Cougar’s beautiful arms.

Pooch claims that Roque was responsible for the Great Sleeve Disappearance. Jensen named it.  Pooch just placates him with the title. Right around the time that the sleeves disappeared, Cougar and Roque had a bit of a blow up. There were threats. Pooch and Jake had to get in the middle of it. Knives were drawn. It was your regular Thursday afternoon, but after their long overdue R&R, Cougar’s shirts were distinctly sleeveless, and not in the manufactured way.

Roque just grumbles and says Cougar looks like an idiot when asked about the shirts. This only fuels Pooch’s theory according to Pooch.

According to Jake, it’s a government conspiracy.  Jake went on a cruise he won through a radio contest, and then he comes back to a sleeveless Cougar—not that he minds because have you seen Cougar’s arms? Jake believes the cruise was a trick to get Jake away from Cougar, leaving him open for an attack. The attack was probably in the form of a pretty lady at the bar, and when Cougar let his guard down, she hit him over the head or drugged him. Jake isn’t clear on the details of why they cut off all of Cougar’s sleeves, but his theory is that they implanted a tracker in his arm that can’t transmit properly if it’s covered by a sleeve. That would be government grade shitty tech, and Jake has dealt with plenty of that, so he knows what he’s talking about.

He even forced the Losers to kidnap Cougar and sneak him into a medical facility to give him a proper scan for any tracking devices. He didn’t find any on the MRI, but Jake isn’t convinced it isn’t there, and Cougar is under their mind control.

Cougar claims Jake did it. Jake scoffs at this, telling everyone that would be something mind-controlled Cougar would say. Cougar claims he went to visit his abuela, and he came home to find Jake going through all of his shirts, and none of them had sleeves anymore.

The truth?

Cougar did it.

Simple as that. Jake went on a cruise with his niece and left Cougar in their un-air-conditioned apartment for a week. Of course, Jake didn’t actually turn off any of his computers because he had important programs running at all times. So, the heat from the machines only added to the heat from outside. There wasn’t even a breeze.

Cougar didn’t mind the head so much. He grew up with heat. He could tolerate it. However, he couldn’t tolerate clothing that clung to him in the heat. How Jake could walk around in skin tight clothing was beyond Cougar.

By the first evening, Cougar was pulling at his sleeves which had gotten tighter in recent months because Cougar’s arms were bulkier. It wasn’t like he was trying to make them bulkier, but hauling Jake’s or Roque’s or Pooch’s ass around on missions when they inevitably did something stupid and were injured could beef a guy up.

And holy shit was it irritating to feel like his arms were being squeezed every time he moved.  He could feel the sweat beneath his arms, and he felt like he was becoming human soup in the hot apartment.

He was annoyed that Jake had won that trip using Cougar’s phone and hadn’t even thought about inviting Cougar. Cougar had planned on them both going. Sitting poolside with Jake while enjoying delicious drinks. Dancing all night with him then going back to their room maybe with a girl or two to share. Cougar had been excited. They didn’t get a whole lot of alone time with each other.

Then Jake had told him that Beth was super excited for their cruise. Cougar had felt like he’d been gut punched. Cougar had packed already. He’d even poured out his mouthwash and replaced it with booze. He was all ready, but Jake wasn’t actually bringing him. He was bringing his six year old niece. She wasn’t even old enough to do much other than splash in the pool. She wouldn’t appreciate the food. She wouldn’t go dancing with Jake. She wouldn’t get drunk at 10am in the sun with Jake. She’d play in the pool or on the slides. She’d fuss over dinner options.

Cougar couldn’t even say anything because she was Jake’s niece. He treated her like his daughter. If Jake wanted to take her on a cruise then that was his right. Cougar just had to suck it up…and sit at home in their gross apartment with Jake’s machines running and a heat index of 105.

So, Cougar was a little frustrated. His balls might as well have been in a fish bowl for how sweaty he was. And every time he moved, he was reminded that his shirt didn’t fit right because Jake had sprained his ankle and needed to be carried ten miles, but he couldn’t bring Cougar on a damn cruise they’d won together.

It was day three that he moved wrong as he went to pick up the TV remote, and he felt the short sleeve dig into his arm. In an uncharacteristic show of emotion, he pulled the shirt of and tore the sleeves off with his bare hands. So enraged, he went through the apartment and proceeded to cut the sleeves off just about every short sleeved shirt he owned as well as the sleeves of his denim jacket.

When he got a hold of himself, he was surrounded by little circles of fabric he’d violently removed from his shirts. He was a little embarrassed, and he quickly hid the evidence of his tantrum. He grabbed the bag he’d originally packed for the cruise, and he went to see his grandmother. When he told her about why his shirts were ruined, she laughed at him and made him sweets to make him feel better.

When he came back, it was only right to blame Jake. It was Jensen’s fault after all. If he had just brought Cougar along on the romantic cruise for two, Cougar wouldn’t have gone crazy. Getting kidnapped and scanned for implants had not been fun, but Cougar refused to admit to his embarrassing behavior.

He didn’t even reconsider when Jake gave him the silly stuffed cat in board shorts that he and Beth picked out as a souvenir for Cougar. Cougar would take this to his grave, but at least his arms weren’t being squeezed to death anymore. And if he caught Jake staring every once in a while, all the better.


	8. Loving Cougar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating G  
> No Warnings apply

Jensen was so vocal about loving Cougar. It was always as sudden and loud as a tornado.  Middle of an op: “God, I love you Coug, you beautiful observant bastard!” Everyone else was rolling their eyes.  Cougar had literally just made sure Jake didn’t trip over a root again because he was too focused on his tech.  

Randomly in the middle of hacking the CIA…again: “Cooooougs, I loooooooove you!” he shouted, because he just noticed the Mountain Dew and sandwich Cougar left for him.  

In the middle of the bar: “Coug, Coug, Coooougs. I love you, man.  Your sexy hat, and your smirk…yeah that one…your hair, that you put up with me, that you’re going to carry me home when I embarrass myself in about ten minutes,  _all_ of it,” he told Cougar, while spilling his beer and wrapping his arm around Cougar’s shoulders.  Cougar let Jake use him as a crutch because he was too drunk to stand on his own.  

The whole team was so used to hearing Jake tell Cougar how much he loved him that it barely even registered anymore. It didn’t mean anything other than Jake being Jake.  However, when Cougar quietly returned the sentiment when they were surrounded by sand for days and likely on a suicide mission, everyone froze.

Jake had just finished a long winded rant about desert heat and lack of wifi, and Cougar was smirking. “Don’t laugh, Cougs, I could die without proper wifi accessibility. That’s a little known fact about Jensens, sudden violent death without constant access to internet,” Jake whined. The rest of them groaned from how often they heard this. Cougar was just wearing that fond little smile. 

“I love you, Jake,” he said, bumping his shoulder against Jake’s.  Jensen actually gasped at the confession.  Even though it was quiet, everyone else had heard him too.

“Did you hear that boys? Cougs loves me! Warts and all, right Coug?” Jake asked.

“You can keep your warts,” Cougar smirked, but Jake already was half wrapped around him like an octopus, and the others just stared, mission forgotten for the moment.

“I’ve been saved in this wifi-less desert by Cougar’s oasis of love!  If only it was love and wifi, but love is nice.  Make’s me feel all squishy on the inside,” Jake said, still clinging to Cougar like he might try to escape.

“Jensen pull yourself together.  You’re a professional.  Cougar are you ill?  The heat getting to you?” Clay asked, looking mildly nauseated at the way Jake as practically dry humping Cougar’s leg.

“Fine Boss,” Cougar replied, gently removing Jake from his person though Jake tried to re-grip him each time he pried his fingers off.

Clay wiped his face with his hand and sighed.  "Right, well let’s keep moving. Jensen hands you yourself, or I’ll let Roque cut them off,“ Clay ordered.

Jensen yelped and let go of Cougar, but his hand might have slipped into the belt loop on the back of Cougar’s pants as he followed him closely, rambling happily even if he couldn’t get wifi. Cougar seemed perfectly content to have him right there in his personal space.


	9. The Guitar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated G  
> No Warnings

Cougar plays guitar. It helps him clear his head when he’s not on a mission. Sometimes, he’ll grab his case when the weather is nice and walk to the park. He’ll sit on a bench or under a tree and just play. It’s rarely a formal song, he’ll just play what sounds good to his ear.

Jake teases him about hiding his rifle in the case, and taking hits on the side. However, he always follows Cougar like a lost puppy. He’ll sit at Cougar’s feet while he plays or sprawl out next to him. Cougar’s playing clears his head too. It’s never the same twice, but there seem to be infinite beautiful combinations because Jake’s never heard Cougar play anything that isn’t beautiful. Maybe he’s a little biased.


End file.
